By Sun and Candle Light
by acshorty14
Summary: Deirdre Kaleigh used to hate Sirius Black, but after she finds out that he likes her, her feelings change. Can their relationship withstand their prior loathing for one another, or will they end up back where they started? SB/OC, JP/LE
1. A Passion Put to Use

Author's note- This is my first ever story so please be nice while reviewing it

**Author's note-** This is my first ever story so please be nice while reviewing it. I love _constructive _criticism. A lot. BTW, do you think my story and chapter have familiar names? Well, they're lines I plucked from my favorite poem, "How Do I Love Thee?" By Elizabeth Barret Browning. If you can guess the meanings pertaining to my story, I will give you my own personal props!

**Disclaimer-** Everything that you recognize, characters and all, belongs to JK Rowling. Everything you don't recognize belongs to me, including the plot.

By Sun and Candlelight

Chapter One: A Passion to Put to Use

Deirdre Kaleigh relentlessly rolled out of her bed and absentmindedly walked to her bathroom. It was early, she realized, and wondered why she was up in the first place. As if on cue, her little brother Brian, who was actually about a whole foot taller than she was, came bounding into the room.

"Deirdre!" He yelled; a big smile was spreading across his freckled, tan skin. "School, it's _today_." He stood there, the poor child, ruffling his dark curls. He was waiting for a response from his sister. Deirdre just crossed her arms.

"So what?" She said, shifting her wait from one foot to another. It wasn't even light out yet. How could her brother have so much energy already?

"It's my fourth year! I'm out of the drudges of the underclassmen…and I can go to the Yule Ball!"

"Who told you that fourth year marks the beginning of the upperclassmen?"

"Sean did. But, I could've figured it out on my own. It's an profound milestone in our school career."

Sean was Deirdre and Brian's older brother. He was 19. Three years older than Deirdre. He was a top journalist for the Prophet, but was training to be an Auror. To Deirdre's dismay, her friends loved to come and visit her on holidays to see Sean, who was in their eyes incredibly handsome. He was a staggering 6'2 and had dark brown hair cut to the length of his well-defined jaw. In addition to that, his eyes were the color of Tigers Eye with splashes green around his irises. Sean graduated top in his year, a real gem in their parent's eyes. This was something that they rarely let their other children forget.

"Hmph, I suppose. Is that all?"

"Yeah."

"Er…Get out then."

Deirdre finished getting ready to leave and lugged her heavy trunk down the stairs. She quickly checked her appearance one more time in the hallway mirror before heading to the kitchen for breakfast. She pulled her long mass of brown waves into a loose bun pilled atop her head. Deirdre wasn't one to wear make-up. She would put on the occasional coat of mascara, but foundation wasn't her thing. Nothing matched her olive-brown skin tone quite right. She thought that beauty was mostly on the inside, and that's all she cared about as far as looks go.

She glanced into the kitchen to see her family eating. Her mother, Johanna, was born in Israel. Deirdre liked to imagine that she looked like her uniquely gorgeous mother. However, her mother had intense topaz colored eyes while hers were a cold, slate blue. She loved to watch her mother's crazy curls bounce around her bronze, tan skin as she laughed. Her father, Aidan, was born in Ireland, and had the palest, ruddiest skin of anyone. He was quite a sight at 6'0, but still was not as tall as his eldest son, Sean. He rubbed his belly as Deirdre plopped down in the seat next to Brian, who was enthusiastically chatting about his upcoming school year.

"I don't know who I'll ask though, mum." He pushed a hand through his hair, an annoying nervous habit that made Deirdre roll her eyes. "I mean there's always Kiri though, as a last resort." He glanced nervously at Sean who just smiled.

Kiri, a pretty Cambodian Ravenclaw, was the younger sister of a best friend of Deirdre's, Teva Mian. Kiri was a fourth year, like Brian, who had just recently formed a "subtle" attraction for the poor thing. _Apparently,_ she and Brian were acquaintances of some sort, but Brian hadn't actually begun talking to her until the end of last term.

"Oh, come of it, Brian!" Deirdre said, throwing her hands in the air. "We all know you fancy her. There's no use covering it up."

Her mother scowled at her. "Deirdre, honestly, you needn't be so rude. Who Brian likes is none of our business anyways. What's gotten into you today?" She stood and began clearing everyone's finished plates. Deirdre took a bite of her toast and crossed her arms. Her mother quickly went around the table, kissing her family goodbye, and went to work. Johanna Kaleigh was a healer at St. Mungos, and often had to arrive there early.

Her father flicked his wand and sent all of their dirty dishes to the sink one-by-one, and they started cleaning themselves.

"Listen, Deirdre." He said in his "let's get down to business voice". "I can't fly to school with you two today, so you'll have to look after Brian on the train. Sean will go with you and see you off. Think you'll be all right?"

Deirdre was confused but nodded. Her father had seen his children off every year since Sean's first term. She figured he must not be able to do it this time around because of his job. Aidan Kaleigh worked at the Ministry of Magic in the Dept. of Mysteries, a description that can only be discussed by members of that field and the Minister himself.

Mr. Kaleigh left swiftly, using the family's Floo Powder, an item that is only used for special emergencies.

Sean glanced at his watch, nearly knocking the table over when he realized how late it was. "We've got to go!" He yelled, racing to the cupboard to grab broom and flying jackets for his siblings. They shuffled out the back door where they kicked off into the air. The sky was still mostly dark, and they would all need to fly a long way to make it to King's Cross Station. Lucky for the Kaleigh children, they were all experienced fliers. Sean used to play on the Ravenclaw team as a Beater, whereas his two younger siblings play on Gryffindor, Brian as Beater and Deirdre as Keeper.

They made their conversation light, talking of Quidditch, what else? There were four other people on Gryffindor's team. James Potter played as Seeker and Captain to the team. There was also Sirius Black, the team's other Beater, who also played as trusty sidekick and best friend to James. Then there was Lily Evans and Elsa Eklof, the best Chasers at Hogwarts.

They also were the other half to the Fabulous Four, which also included Deirdre and Teva Mian. These four were just like James, Sirius, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, just girls. They were all beautiful, popular, and in the same year and house! They were pretty much the dream team…if only they didn't have those naughty Marauders ruining all of their fun with sleazy, awful pranks.

The three siblings finally arrived at Kings Cross where they said their awkward goodbyes and split apart. Brian went to his dorky, forth-year perverted buddies, whilst Sean ran off to flirt with a group of his admiring female readers. Deirdre however had some serious catching up to do with her best friends in the whole world. She spotted the less than inconspicuous red locks of her friend Lily, who was already standing in a small circle with Teva and Elsa. Elsa, the pretty, blonde Swede who never missed a beat, saw Deirdre trying to reach them and dragged the rest of the group to meet her half way.

Elsa was the first to wrap her tanned, thin arms around Deirdre. "I've missed you so much, girl!" She said breaking away so her other friends could embrace their best friend. After they were finished with their hugging, the giddy girls all raced onto the train to get a compartment. They found their usual, the one that they had used every year since they were eleven. It was at the very back of the train to the left, right across from the Marauder's.

"So…" Lily said with big smile plastered on her freckled face. "I have some serious news."

Suddenly everyone was drawn in, the room was completely silent apart from the gradual click as the train started to inch forward. Teva, the bookworm extreme, even looked up from her copy of Mansfield Park to see what her friend had to say.

Lily flipped her hair. Her eyes grew large and danced around the other girls in the room. "Well, as we all know, I went to the beach in the south of France for my last week of the holiday and I happened to run into Pettigrew who was staying with his Grandmother. You see, he accidentally let something slip to me when I inquired about Black…" She rested those eyes right on Deirdre, who suddenly felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"What'd he say, Lils?" Asked Elsa, her pale blue eyes darting between Lily and Deirdre.

"He said," Lily paused dramatically, still looking directly at Deirdre. "That Deirdre and Black had been sending letters to each other all summer, and he was falling for her."

Teva ran her slender fingers through her short black hair and adjusted her glasses. "I didn't know they were exchanging letters. I didn't even know they were friends. Did anybody?"

The two girls shook their heads slowly, all looking expectantly at Deirdre. Deirdre felt like she was a fish out of water. Everyone seemed to be pushing her into a corner, and she couldn't escape. The news of Sirius's feelings was brand new to her. Yes, it was true that she'd been writing to Sirius over the summer, but it was only a friendly gesture on her end. She never sensed any hidden affection in any of Sirius's letters.

"Er…" She began, searching for the correct words. "I'm sorry for not telling you guys. It's just that I didn't think it was any big deal. We were just talking, two _friends_ talking."

Lily grinned at Deirdre. "Don't worry about it. None of us are mad, I'm sure. What I'm not sure of is if this whole thing is completely one-sided. Do you reciprocate his feelings?"

Deirdre shook her head, but she wasn't completely sure if it was the whole truth. She'd never exactly thought of Sirius that way, and it wasn't until recently that she even considered him a friend. Before the summer, Deirdre thought of Sirius as an arrogant prat, certainly not in a friendly way. As she got to know him better through their letters, she realized that he was a better person than she thought, even though he was a little rough around the edges. She did notice, however, that in the last month following the start of school that his letters seemed to come less and less until they stopped all together.

Elsa laughed. "Deirdre, he's kind of good looking. You should go for it."

Teva joined in too, giggling uncontrollably. "Kind of? We all know he's not lacking in the looks department… it's just that temper and "bad boy" image you ought to look out for."

"He can't be _that _much of an idiot either." Lily said. "He likes you, so he's pretty smart and has good taste in women."

"Who's got good taste in women, my love? I know I do." Lily's face suddenly filled with tension as James Potter opened the door and walked into the room, with Remus, Peter, and lastly Sirius following closely. James took a seat right next to Lily, in which forced her to get up and take a seat next to Deirdre on the other side.

"Stay away from me, Potter." She spat, glaring daggers at him from across the small compartment. It was funny how fast the mood could change when Lily and James were in close contacts. Deirdre suddenly felt flushed and loosened her collar. It probably also had something to do with the fact that Sirius was gazing right at her. What was that look in his eyes?

"Play nice Lily, dear." James said. "I just came to inform you of our meeting in ten minutes."

Lily was seething. "What are you playing at, Potter? What meeting?"

James ruffled the back of his head, making it more untamed. "The prefect meeting. We should be there first, so I suggest we get a move on." He stood and waited for Lily at the door.

Naturally, Lily got the placement of Head Girl for our house. We could all see where this was heading. James got Head Boy.

"_We_?" She said, her voice sounding so weak after all of her hard jabbing. Poor girl, her worst dream was coming true.

"I'm Head Boy." He said proudly. He pulled out his badge and pinned it on. Lily sat there for a few minutes, staring in utter defeat, and then left with James. Teva and Remus, who were also prefects walked out shortly after them. That left Elsa, Peter, Deirdre, and Sirius to their uneasy drabble. Deirdre, feeling anxious because of Sirius's dark stare, excused herself, and ran to stand outside at the caboose's deck.

She took a deep breath when she finally met the crisp autumn breeze. She had to hold onto the rail hard in fear that if she lost balance she would flip over the edge. Why did Sirius make her feel so nervous? Was Lily right? Could she possibly fancy him? No. Never. However, she couldn't deny that whatever was happening, someone was making her swoon. She sat down close to the wall, pulled her legs into chest, and closed her eyes.

**Authors note #2- **If you liked this one, muchas gracias. Don't worry, sappy lovers of romance! Chapter 2 will be filled with plenty of juicy scandal. Still baffled about the title thing? Google the poem, it might help you understand a little better.


	2. Feeling Out of Sight

Disclaimer- Everything that you recognize, characters and all, belongs to JK Rowling

**Disclaimer-** Everything that you recognize, characters and all, belongs to JK Rowling. Everything you don't recognize belongs to me, including the plot.

By Sun and Candlelight

Chapter Two: Feeling Out of Sight

"Ah!" Lily said, stretching her arms. "I love the first day of classes. I feel so much more in touch with my brain."

"Because you're totally brain-_dead_ over the summer?" Deirdre asked, putting a sarcastic look of concern over her face.

"No! Honestly, Deirdre." Lily placed her hands on her hips.

Elsa laughed. "Yeah, Deirdre. She just doesn't use it much in the summer."

"Exactly." Lily said, smiling to herself. "Wait a minute, Elsa!" She punched her lightly on the arm.

Deirdre was tired. She'd never been much of a morning person and she hadn't got much sleep the night before. She wasn't exactly thrilled like the rest of her friends to be going to potions.

"I can't stand potions." Teva said, obviously not thrilled by the prospect of going either.

"C'mon." Lily said. "Teva you're good in every class. You've no reason to hate anything."

"Merlin, if I had your OWL scores I wouldn't be complaining." Deirdre smiled at Teva, they all knew that it wasn't the class's difficulty she was talking about.

Teva pouted. "No, that's not it. Slughorn's bound to partner me up with Pettigrew. He does it every year."

Teva, an obsessive perfectionist, could never seem to get past Peter's lack of coordination. He had no chance of winning any fight either. Teva was one tough cookie when it came to academics.

"Maybe, he'll switch it up this time. Perhaps I'll get the 'mouse-boy', Lily will have Potter, you'll get Lupin, and Deirdre will have her beloved Black. That'd spice things up for sure." Elsa grinned her mischievous smile and ran off, heading to Potions in order to get there first.

"What they hell is she on?" Lily asked, furious as always at the mention of James's name.

"She loves to pretend she's a matchmaker. Let it go Lils, she doesn't mean any harm." Deirdre patted her friend on the back and they sauntered off to their class.

Once everyone was seated and quiet, Professor Slughorn took his place at the front of the dungeon.

"Don't make yourselves too comfortable." Slughorn smirked. "I should tell you before we begin that I've rearranged some previous partners due to the inability to work in operable pairs." He glared solemnly at Teva who shrugged and shook her head.

Of course, their partners were the same as Elsa had predicted. Once again, Deidre found herself in the uncomfortable, close proximity of Sirius Black. They were thoroughly following the directions to one of the potions from their textbook when Deirdre finally worked up the nerve to talk to him.

"How was the rest of your summer, Sirius?" She asked, cutting up some herbs and tossing them into the cauldron.

"It was…eventful. How about you?" Sirius threw a couple of slimy purple things into the boiling water. Deirdre stared absentmindedly at them as they bobbed around.

"It was fine." The conversation was so painfully awkward, and the fumes from the potion were making Deirdre feel funny, impulsive.

"Sirius, why'd you stop writing me?" She said slamming down her knife and turning to face him. Apparently she'd said it a bit more forcefully than was meant. People started starring at them from all the way across the room.

"Are you mad? Why'd you just go off at me like that?" Sirius whispered angrily.

Deirdre had never noticed how utterly _handsome_ Sirius was, but looking him right in the eye made her see. He wasn't boyishly attractive like James, or ruggedly appealing like Remus. He was a completely different thing all together. He was like a Greek statue of a god, with features that looked like they had been chiseled from expert hands. Not to mention his grayish-blue eyes that a girl could get lost in…Deirdre was beginning to feel a bit lost herself.

"I-I'm sorry, I just- It's the smoke from the potion, it makes me feel strange."

"You okay then?"

Deirdre nodded and Sirius continued throwing things into the cauldron. Deirdre started cutting up more herbs in order to regain her concentration. Sirius obviously wasn't finished yet; he stole a few more glances at her.

"I wanted to write to you." He breathed. Deirdre had to strain her ears to listen. "I just couldn't."

She began cutting faster, hardly even paying attention to the knife. "What happened?"

"I-I was busy okay? I had some other things to take care of."

_Chop chop chop. _The knife was practically flying across the cutting board. "You didn't even tell me you were going to stop. You just cut them off so abruptly. I thought you were kidnapped or something."

_Chop chop chop_. Sirius glowered at her. "You don't know anything! Okay? I'm telling you, I was busy!"

And just like that the knife collided with Deirdre's palm, breaking through her skin. The cut wasn't deep, but the wound was bleeding pretty heavily.

"Bloody hell, Sirius!" She yelled, clutching her left palm with her right. Slughorn ran over and examined the slash the knife left on her hand. He didn't send her to the nurse, insisting that if she followed his directions that she could be healed faster.

"Go to the cupboard and get the soap in the purple bottle. It's from Romania, top of the line. Wash out your hand, and I assume Mr. Black will help you wrap it." Slughorn turned to Sirius, an intent look in his eyes. "Black, there is a small brown box in the cupboard. Inside is a thorny plant that is smothered in a yellow liquid. Remove the leaves and wrap them about Ms. Kaleigh's hand. When you're done, come back and show me so I can approve."

The two students did as they were told Deirdre washed her hand in silence while Sirius plucked the leaves off the plant, both wearing stony expressions. When Deirdre was finished she sat in front of Sirius and he began dressing her wound.

"This is kind of my fault, eh? I'm sorry, Deirdre." Sirius said, taking her hand in his. She couldn't help it, her hand started to shake.

He began to gingerly wrap they sticky leaves around her palm, making it feel warm. "Am I hurting you?" He asked, noting her shaking hand.

"No. It's the plant, it stings." She lied. How could she tell him the truth? She didn't even know what the truth was.

"You've got small hands." He said, holding it in comparison to his own. It was small, like a child's next to his.

"So? Maybe you've got abnormally large hands." She giggled.

"Well, you know what they say about big hands?" He said slowly, flashing her his ever so famous smile.

Deirdre raised an eyebrow. "What do _they_ say, Sirius?"

He shrugged. "Big hands, big…gloves."

She shook her head. "Hilarious. What do they say about small hands?"

"Small gloves, naturally." The two sat on the floor laughing until Professor Slughorn came over to inspect the bandage. He dismissed them after telling Deirdre to remove the bandage an hour later, revealing a healed palm.

Deirdre ran back up to the Gryffindor Common Room, smiling to her self all the while. She knew that starting a friendship with Sirius wouldn't be easy, (hence the slicing open of her hand) but she never knew how funny he could be. After they got past all of the awkward stuff, he was pretty easy to talk to. There was one thing she couldn't get past; why did he make her feel the way she did? It was like an emotional rollercoaster ride with Sirius. One moment, she could feel as though she could stab him, the next she could kiss him. But, she didn't fancy him, did she? Oh! What a tangled web we weave!


	3. Breath, Smiles, and Tears

Disclaimer- Everything that you recognize, characters and all, belongs to JK Rowling

**Disclaimer**- Everything that you recognize, characters and all, belongs to JK Rowling. Everything you don't recognize belongs to me, including the plot.

**Author's Note**- I suppose it's been a long time since I've last posted but oh well. I sort of got caught up with summer I guess. Here is the third chapter and enjoy! 

By Sun and Candle Light

Chapter Three: Breath, Smiles, and Tears

Sirius walked up to the common room, laughing with his friends. They had this weekly routine of sneaking up onto the roof and enjoying a round of butter beers late at night.

"Exactly." Sirius said, draping his arm around James's shoulder. "Now, I know exactly what you're going through, mate. It's like every time I try to talk to her, I get really nervous or turn into an ass hole. It's hopeless-"

Sirius stopped short when he saw Deirdre sleeping in the big loveseat by the fire. She had her transfiguration book lying open on the coffee table with what he assumed was the homework that was due the next day. Her long hair was pulled into a braid and she was wearing a short, skimpy violet nightgown with a white bathrobe over top.

James smirked at him. "Close your mouth, man. I realize that that's a bit more exposed skin than you've seen on her but really, you're nearly drooling."

"Yeah, mate." Remus said, walking towards the boy's dormitory. "Try to control yourself."

"I think we'll leave you to your flirting, now. Good luck." James gestured towards Deirdre and dragged Peter up to bed.

Sirius turned back to Deirdre, and found himself gaping absentmindedly at her curves. He tried desperately to stop but couldn't help it; he was a man after all.

Over the summer, all Sirius thought about was Deirdre. He found himself eagerly awaiting her letters so that he could hear her familiar voice. He dreamed about her almost every night for a month, envisioning touching, and kissing, and making love to her.

After he ran away, he found it harder to write to her, not wanting to tell her about all of his pain. He stopped just a few weeks before the term began, figuring that he would explain it all to her once he saw her on the train. He played the whole thing out in his mind a hundred times. He saw her run up and hug him, and then he would tell her about leaving his mother's house. After that, he would confess his love for her and they would kiss. But so far that wasn't how it was playing out. He didn't understand why she was acting so…afraid of him. It was like they didn't know each other at all.

He bent down and lightly tapped her arm, beaming as her pretty blue eyes looked into his. "Deirdre?"

She popped up with a start, quickly moving to cover her body with her bathrobe. "Oh! Er, hello Sirius. I was just uh, doing homework and I suppose I um…dosed off." She looked at Sirius and shrugged, playing with the tie on her robe.

"Yeah…" He began, trying to think of what to say. She made Sirius, who was usually very talkative nearly speechless. "I saw you laying there and I thought I'd save you from waking up with a crick in your neck."

Deirdre smiled. "Oh-well, thanks, Sirius."

They stood there in silence for a minute until Sirius just decided to give up. "I suppose I'll go to bed then."

"No!" She said abruptly. "I mean, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Sirius nodded and sat down. She followed suit and started playing with the ties on her bathrobe again.

"Sirius, please. Please tell me, I think I deserve to know." She said. "Why did you stop writing? I kept sending you letters, but I never got any replies. There were two or three, I reckon."

Sirius shrugged and ran a hand through his black, silky hair. "I-I ran away this summer, from my mum's. It just kept getting worse in my house."

"Oh! Merlin Sirius!" Deirdre said, giving him a hug. "You could've written to me- told me you were having issues. I would've helped."

"No, you couldn't have. It all started when my mother saw that I was writing to you. You know how she is. She doesn't like any of my friends. She recognized your last name. Your parents and brother are Voldemort haters, like the biggest."

"Sirius, you should've just stopped then, I would've understood."

"I would've, but you know me…I don't like to listen, so I kept on writing. The first time she caught me, she just threatened to kill our birds. I know it sounds bad, but she'd never do that. The second time, she started saying all of this awful shit about you and your family. So I started to do it in secret. It was hard, but it worked."

"You really shouldn't have gone through all of that trouble. It wasn't worth it."

"No. I had to. I couldn't let her win. I kept on writing you when I could, and it lasted all the way until the night before I left."

"That's bloody fantastic. The letters got you kicked out. This is all my fault, I shouldn't have started sending them." Her eyes began to tear up and she put her head in her hands. Sirius pulled her to him.

"They didn't. I just got pissed and said some things that I'd wanted to say. In the end I betrayed the Black Family Line and my mother declared I was no longer her _problem_. She told me to have my things out by morning."

Her voice sounded broken when she spoke. "Where'd you go?"

"I flew down to James's house. His parents welcomed me with open arms and said I could stay until I finished school."

"I'm so sorry, Sirius. It all sounds terrible."

"It was, but it ended up for the better. Now I'm with people who care about me."

"Good." She sniffed, pushing away so she could wipe her eyes. It was getting late. Deirdre walked over to the window and stared into the dark.

Sirius took a deep breath and stood next to her at the big bay window. "There's one more thing, Deirdre." She looked beautiful with her hair shinning in the moonlight. "Hmmm?" She didn't move a muscle, just kept on staring into the darkness.

"I think…I think that I'm in love…with…you."

She just started smiling and turned her head to look at him. It was as if she were searching inside his soul.

Sirius started panicking. He'd no idea what to say. "I-I get it if you don't feel the same way. I just-I had to tell you…how…I feel."

She was still smiling. Did she think him a fool? He was absolutely baffled. Sirius shrugged and tried again. "I'm not exactly sure why I feel like this, because I've never had this feeling about any other girl. Ever. I just thought I'd tell you because…"

He trailed off. She was actually chuckling at him. He was annoyed now. "What? Why are you doing this to me? Do you realize that you're driving me crazy? I can't believe this-"

She put a finger up to his lips, still giggling. "Sirius, I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, it's just I never thought I would be the one to leave Sirius Black with a lack of words."

"Yeah." He snorted. "Who'd have thought?"

Deirdre took a few steps closer to Sirius, closing the distance between them. "You know, there's a pretty effective way of saying everything you mean without using those damned words." She raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" Sirius said, putting his hands on her waist. Moving them playfully up and down her sides. "And what would that be?"

"Oh, I think you know."

She placed her hands around Sirius's next and he leaned in for the kiss. He pulled her into his embrace, squishing her small form against his. She parted her mouth, letting Sirius put his tongue in to explore. He didn't know how long it lasted, but by the time it was over Deirdre was pushed up against the window. He rubbed his jaw, which actually _ached_. He watched her as she put a hand to her swollen lips. This moment, everything about it, was perfect.

"Um." Sirius looked down at the floor. "I think I better go to bed." He started up the stairs to his dormitory.

"Sirius, wait!" Deirdre called, running up the steps. "Will you tell them? Your friends?"

"Uh, yeah. I just poured my soul out and kissed you. I was planning on bragging 'bout it." He grinned at her.

She scowled, putting her hands on her hips. "I guess that's okay, if you only tell them. Just make sure that they swear not to tell anyone. I want to be the first to tell my friends. And I don't think it's the best time right now, so I'm going to hold off on it for a while."

"Are you ever going to tell them? I don't think I'll be too good at a secret relationship. I'm kind of a blabber-mouth."

"Yes, I'll tell them tomorrow. Maybe tonight after dinner."

They gave each other one more hug and a kiss and went back to their rooms.

Sirius was greeted to cheers and slaps on the back.

"Well, Paddy. You sure were out there for a long time. Get a good shag back there?"

Sirius put his hand to his heart. "James! What makes you think that I, Hogwart's #1 Sex God, would take advantage of that poor girl? I have a bit more class than that."

"You were back there for long enough!" Remus said, punching Sirius in the arm.

"Seriously, no pun intended, I really don't want to screw this one up. I'm not messing with her because I really care about her. So if you could keep the sexual jokes to a minimum that would be great. It might help me out." He wasn't joking around anymore, his friends could tell by his earnest expression.

"By the way, she wants to keep this a secret for a few days. I don't know why, but you guys can't tell anyone." He held his hand out so they could all shake on the agreement.

"Merlin." James said, releasing a low whistle.

"Yeah. Bloody hell, Sirius." Remus said. He slumped back in his seat.

"What? What's wrong?" Peter asked. He was obviously feeling out of the loop.

"That, Wormtail," James said, pointing at Sirius. "That is a man in love."

"When did you start growing up?" Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. "It's hard to tell, Moony. It had to happen though, I guess."

All of the boys nodded, passing around a flask of Fire Whiskey.

"Two down," James said. "Two to go." He motioned towards Remus and Peter.

"Right. With whom shall we pair you two?" Sirius laughed. The boys spent their last half hour on the train talking about suitors for the two marauders that were not in love. It may have been just innocent joking just then, but who knows how the tide will turn?

**Author's Note #2**- Sorry. That ending line was really lame. I couldn't figure out what to say. Damn.


	4. A Love I Seemed to Loose

BSC Chapter Four

BSC Chapter Four

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of these awesome characters, they are JK Rowling's…apart from the plot and the characters you don't recognize, those belong to me!

**Note**: I think I'll mess around with POV from now on, maybe make Deirdre be the one telling the story...I don't know. Tell me if you have different preferences.

By Sun and Candlelight

Chapter Four: A Love I Seemed to Loose

**Deirdre**

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Who goes around snogging random guys? Who am I kidding? He's not random, he's bloody Sirius Black, he's my friend…my very good friend…my boyfriend…?

Shit.

No. No way that snogging can suddenly make us a couple. I mean, Sirius, he goes around sucking face with girls all the time. He doesn't always date them. At least he didn't used to. Not so much anymore, so I've noticed. He was talking last night about bragging to his friends about us. Now I'm not sure, but I think that makes us official, (not that I want to, that could be tragic) because thinking critically, he did say that he was in love with me. Why would he say that? It can't be true. There's no way. Only in another life could Sirius Black ever be in love with me.

But he definitely is. Bugger.

"Deirdre, are you all right? You haven't touched your porridge since you sat down." Lily was looking at me with that weird, motherly gaze that she fixes on people when she's concerned. It's awful; you can't lie to her or anything. It just makes me feel that much worse that I haven't told any of the girls about Sirius. I kept my eyes downcast to avoid her stare.

Teva looked across the hall at the Ravenclaw table. She started laughing. "It's Jesse, he's making her sick. Can't you see? He's staring at her."

I looked up to see if she was bluffing or not. Bloody hell, she's right. "Merlin." I muttered.

Jesse was this guy that I dated last year. He was pretty much the perfect guy with his long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. He was somewhat like Sirius; very attractive, very athletic, very rebellious…the downside to Jesse was that he didn't treat me very well. He used to yell at me all of the time and call me names. Once he even hit me. The last straw with him was when I found out that he cheated on me--four times! When I confronted him about it, he didn't try to argue or anything. He actually seemed kind of happy that I was breaking it off with him. I know, it was idiotic not to cut the ties with him sooner, but what can I say? He was my first boyfriend. I loved him, and it seemed as though every day he was breaking off a bit of my heart, but still, something kept me holing on. Oh well, it was a dumb and naïve thing to do, but I've certainly learned from my mistakes.

Elsa tapped my arm lightly. "He's coming over here, Love. You might want to leave."

I started to stand, but Jesse was too quick for that. He put his hand on my shoulder, pushing me back down into my seat. He kneeled down to my side so that his mystifying eyes were level with mine. His hand was resting on my shoulder.

Shake it off. Why wont you shake it off?

"Hey, baby. How was your summer? Did you miss me?" His hand moved up to my neck and he leaned in to kiss me. Suddenly, I remembered how to shift his hand off of me and I turned my face away from him. I turned and slapped his pretty, pale face with my hand, leaving a red print on his cheek.

Satisfied, I quickly gathered my things "Drop dead, asshole." I darted out the door as fast as I could, sprinting down the hall and out into the courtyard, not fully aware of the fact that Jesse and my friends were all following closely behind. I ducked behind a tree to catch my breath, but Jesse found me no doubt.

I looked up to see him and his cronies standing over me, his body rigid with anger and tension. I trembled fiercely, remembering all of the bad times that we had last year. Stifling my tears, I stood and faced him, bracing myself for the worst.

"Come here." He barked, his stony voice quivering with rage. I shook my head, taking two large steps back. He snapped his fingers, ordering one of his friends to fetch me. Leo Mortenson, a big burly guy grabbed my arm and pulled me forward, holding me still so that I couldn't escape. I was face-to-face with my enemy and there was nothing that I could do. Every inch of Jesse's face was alive with fury. How could someone this beautiful be this terrifying? I don't remember him being even this bad while we were dating.

"Don't ever embarrass me like that again." He whispered, leaning close to my ear, his tone was too soft, too melodious to be true. Jesse began stroking up and down my arm, a technique he used to use to calm me down after all of our fights. He smiled; his face was so close that I could almost taste the familiar sweetness of his breath. "I know you didn't mean it."

I couldn't help but start laughing. Like hell I didn't mean it. A lot of things I say come out wrong and twisted, but then, I knew exactly what I was saying. I've never meant anything more in my life. After all that he did to me, honestly, I don't care what happens to him. I know how selfish I sound, but I can't help it. He's basking in his eternal glory of being male, and here I am, left with the humiliation of being jovially "dismissed" from his life forever. For what, rightfully accusing him of cheating? Hell no. I don't have to deal with this anymore.

"I bet you'd like to think that." I snapped, trying hard to force myself out of Mortenson's grip. As hard as I struggled, I couldn't break free. Suddenly, a thought erupted in my head. "You want…me?" I gasped, breathing hard after failing to flail myself out of grasp. Jesse nodded enthusiastically. Is he really this daft? Does he really fancy me such a fool? "This," I gestured to Leo's iron fists that were wrapped about my arms. "This is not convincing to me. Please, he's hurting me." I cooed, in just a second he'll give in to me. Just one second…

He nodded to Mortenson who slowly loosened his hold on me until I was still close enough to grab again, but for now, not a prisoner to his restrain.

I looked 'round for my friends, but they were nowhere to be found. How could they leave me like this? They saw me slap Jesse and run. How could they leave me now? Oh well, I can do this on my own. I can…

Swiftly as I had always practiced, I retrieved my wand from the inner pocket of my robes and turned on the five boys in the group. Just as suddenly as I had taken my wand out, Jesse had his, and soon the rest of them were cornering me. Was I crazy? How, in Merlin's name, would I ever win a duel against five people?

Snickering, Jesse took a few steps closer to me. "Now, now, my dear. Was that really a good idea? Five to one…doesn't sound too safe to me."

One of Jesse's men lunged at me, but I was too quick for him. Adrenaline-filled, I hexed the interloper, causing him to hit the ground with a loud thump.

I smiled. Would this be okay after all? "You're right." I said. "I think the odds are in my favor. Would you like to send another one of your boys for me? I'll gladly place him on the ground next to the other one."

Jesse was furious. With a flick of his wand, I was sent flying across the courtyard, landing in a clumsy heap on the grass. I tried to get up, but the strength in my legs had given out. Jesse crouched by my side, like a beast preparing to devour his prey. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked me up, only to punch me hard in the stomach. I doubled over, clutching my arms into my abdomen. The last thing I remember before blacking out was Sirius. He ran up to Jesse, knocking him squarely in the face, blood streaming out of his nose. The rest of the Marauders were dueling it out with Jesse's mates while Sirius scooped my mangled body into his arms. Lily, Teva, and Elsa were all watching closely from the background. After that, my mind was consumed in darkness.

**Note**: Sorry mates, I felt like my story needed some action. The romance will be back, don't you worry!


End file.
